It's Time for a Huggytime Huggle!
by Mira Hopesbane
Summary: What would happen if Botan died, and the Spirit Detective was forced to carry on without her? Currently, very, very, short oneshot, but may come into an actual story. Yes, the Plot DustBunnies got to me from the corner of the Plot DustBunny Barrow.
1. Chapter the First

Botan's Gone Insane

Mira Hopesbane

Botan was sitting on the bed in the hotel, waiting calmly as she would 'normally'. Once again, the Spirit Detective had been called to save the world, this time from a giant tunnel that would release all forms of A-Class and stronger beings into Japan. It was not a good time for this to happen. Already, Kurama, Kuwabara, and three other Earth teens had come to help. But more help would be needed.

Yuske was more irritable these days, and that troubled the Guide to the River Styx. However, she had seen Hiei, who previously adamantly refused to help, stalking the group. Today, she was waiting to see if Botan could lure him out, and speak. It was worthwhile to at least attempt.

Hiei, on time, pushed open the door and entered, alert as a cat would be when invited to tea by his neighbor's dog. Not a comforting site to say the least. Botan smiled, and jumped up.

She quickly enveloped the short demon in a hug that, if humanly (in this case demonly) possible, would have his eyes blowing out of his head with the squeal, "You deserve a special Botan Huggytime Huggle!"

Her screams were heard throughout the world. And, as sorry I am to say this, but our dear, dear Botan is dead.


	2. Chapter the Second

Mira: Welcome back to my story. Sorry the last chapter was so short, but-

Lpod (Latin Project of Doom for those who need remedial Signs and Signals): Just stop yapping. No one wants to hear you yelling about reviewing all day.

Mira: Yes, they do!

Lpod: Un-uhhhh

Mira: Uh-huh!

Lpod: No!

Mira: YES!

An epic battle results, causing much sawdust to be strewn across the Lpod. As all good Lpod stalkers know, Latin projects are deathly allergic to sawdust.

Lpod: Too….much…..SAWDUST!

Mira: Just give the disclaimer and I'll take you to the emergency room.

Lpod: Mira…does…not….own….Yu…Yu….Hauk….o..shaun……..gasp

Mira: Continue…

Lpod: Or Shania……Twain….gasps again

Mira: Thankies. drives away with Lpod and goes into the ER. And review!

* * *

Yusuke stared at the girl standing in front of him. She- well it- was definitely not Botan. "Who are you?" screamed Urameshi and the Botan moved. "And what did you do to Botan?"

The thing moved, its metallic arms clanking, "I am Botan One. Botan was destroyed by a demon of the name Hiei. I am her replacement."

"You- you- are Botan…" Yusuke's face went pale. "The world is going to end."

"That is correct. In two weeks at the least," the machine's monotone voice crackled. "Get back on the case."

Yusuke screamed in terror. This thing was Botan's replacement!

Yusuke lay on his bed, slightly taken aback…. Kurama sat on a chair-like desk and Hiei kneeled before him, a long piece of parchment trailing from his hands. Unable to move, Yusuke did the only thing possible; cover his ears from the bad poetry to come.

Hiei cleared his voice, and began to recite,

"Kurama, Kurama with eyes so green,  
My perfect fox, with such beautiful sheen,  
Can you not forget the flesh you have seen-"

Unluckily for Hiei, but lucky for everyone else, Botan One entered, and started beating the demon on the head with her shiny arm, monotoning, "No romance between canon characters. No romance between canon characters. No romance between canon characters. No romance between canon characters. No romance between canon characters. No romance between canon characters…"

* * *

Mira: I thought you would like to know the Lpod will survive.

Lpod: No thanks to you!

Mira: I did take you to the ER, didn't I?

Lpod: Who put the sawdust all over me in the first place?

Mira: Him points to box labeled 'Danger, Flesh-Eating Ferrets'.

Lpod: Sure….

Mira: And now back to our story. Unfortunately, Botan One has been blow up by a romance-loving canon character. She shall be replaced by Botan Two!

* * *

"Hiei, why did you have to go and blow up Botan's replacement," said Kuwabara as he stared at the now-smoldering ruin of Botan One. "Now the world will end!"

Hiei gave a low laugh, "They'll just send another of the experibots. Maybe this one won't annoy me."

"Everything annoys you," mumble the Spirit Detective from the bed. Kurama started sniffling on the chair-like desk.

"You made my Kooama cry," Hiei cooed. "What's wrong?"

"You never even finished your poem."

"I shall sing you a song!"

"Yay!" Kurama clapped his hands, causing a chibi picture of Hiei and Kurama hugging to pass by.

Looking around at the now empty room, for everyone else had taken time t flee, Hiei started caterwauling,

"Any man of mine better be proud of me

Even when I'm ugly, he still better love me

And I can be late of a date that's fine

But he better be on time…."

However, Koenma just entered into a room on the oar of a very solemn-looking girl, and his mouth opened up as wide as the eye could see it, with his pacifier miraculously not falling out of his agape mouth.

* * *

**Collision: Yanma Senpai: Than you sooo much for being my first (and only) reveiwer of this story. THANKIES!!!**


	3. Chapter the Third

Lpod: I can't believe it! Mira is updating!

Mira: Shut up. I've been busy.

Lpod: I won't! I won't!

Mira: Then I believe in sawdust!

(The Lpod grows white with fear)

Lpod: You wouldn't dare!

Mira: You know that you should never say that to females in my family.

* * *

Yusuke was scared. Botan's new replacement had asked him to check in on Kurama and Hiei. The tough-as-nails spirit detective was terrified. 

The door was shut, and the damaging sounds of two grown demons giggling were heard.

Something... wrong... was going on in their, and Yusuke was charged with finding out what it was. Never, in all his life, had Yusuke been terrified.

Yusuke, with a trembling hand, pushed open the sliding door.

"ICK!"

Yusuke turned, and sprinted from the vicinity. He ran, and ran, and ran some more. If he had been graced with swiftness, Yusuke would have been far into Siberia. However, as it was, Botan's replacement stopped him.

"Yusuke" the pale girl's eyes seemed to pin him to the paper door. "What is wrong?"

Yusuke shook his head. "It's horrible... Unnatural... Toenails- Piles and piles!"

By that point, Yusuke had collasped into a quivering pile. Botan's replacment, who wished to make it know that her name was Riikka, patted him awkwardly on his shoulder, and went to see what was wrong with Kurama and Hiei.

------------------------------

The door was already ajar, with Kurama and Hiei too into each other to notice that it had been opened. Riikka was standing by the opening, with one of her eyes caught in a small seizure.

There were piles of toenails. The room seemed as though from a cheap action flick,and the heros have just found the mounds of treasure. Only, instead oftreasure, there were toenails.

Hiei, it seemed, was amusing a giggling Kurama by enlarging his toenails, letting the fox clip them, and regrowing them. It was perhaps the most unsettling thing to watch. Ever. If you had to watch a sewage tank being drained or this you would choose the sewage tank.

"Excuse me" Riikka's voice barely registered. It was, or course, no louder than a whisper, so again she spoke. "Excuse me!"

Hiei looked up, murder flashing in his eyes, and said, "You're going to make him cry."

As promised, the fox began whimpering. Then, as though in slow-motion, he began to bawl.

"No, no, stop, shhh," Hiei was scary trying to comfort Kurama.

Kurama wouldn't stop crying.

"I'm going to have to kill you now."

Riikka, in a misquided attempt to save herself, said "You wouldn't dare."

For some reason, this group seems to be going through Spirit Guides at an alarming rate.


End file.
